His Consuming Fire

2011-09-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, what words can I use to express my gratitude to my ever-loving God? He is so good and faithful to me and I will praise His name forever! God has been continuously healing me since I joined the Catholic Charismatic Renewal in different areas of my life.

Perhaps, the most difficult burdens that I have carried with me throughout my life were those from childhood woundedness. I have clung to these burdens and tried to carry them by myself for the most part. Sure, I went to therapy and let others help me make sense of these trials, but I didn't really feel free from my torments at all. They were always there, knocking on the door of my soul; keeping me from experiencing all the joy that God had in store for me.

There were also times where I did feel God's healing touch come over me. Especially at a retreat last October. I was healed then from most of the unforgiveness I had been clinging to. It was also then that I thought I could carry the rest by myself. I figured that God had done His part and now I would do the rest through therapy. Please don't underestimate how much God can do for you! He is the burden-bearer. He can carry it all! Praise God!

Since last October I have gone through A LOT of trials and temptations. And although I believed God had healed me from so much, I still prayed I could make it through each day without giving up. I was still so very wounded. So was my family.

In the late part of the year my sixteen year old son became a different person to me. I found out that he had began seeking out drugs to overcome his pain. He had been drinking alcohol as well without anyone knowing. He had become suicidal. It was more than I could handle on my own. And that is because I was still trying to carry these things by myself. I was praying like I never had before, but was claiming the baggage for myself. After all, wasn't it my fault?

I was believing that lie, and so many others. I was in the pit of hell on earth and blind to Satan's tactics. We kept taking my son to the hospital each time he tried to kill himself, hoping to get the right meds for him. We did everything we could to help him want to live.

By the end of January I was hospitalized for a week in Texas. My therapist was unable to help and sent me there with the message that it was either Texas or no therapy. I went to Texas to focus on recovery from trauma that I had experienced as a child. I was trusting so many people to help keep me sane. Then the rug was pulled out from under me.

I asked my ex-husband to keep our son while I was gone. He was fine with that. But I was too trusting of him. When he asked me to sign some papers for school, I did. I was on too many new medications to even focus and signed away custody thinking that it was just papers for school. So, then, right before I left for Texas I lost custody of my son. My heart was ripped out from me. I was devastated. I became so numb. Prayers were going up for me from my many friends at the CCR when I did not have the strength to pray for myself.

Shortly after my arrival in Texas, while I was grieving for the time I would lose with my son, I was taken into a therapy session that would turn out to further break my heart. My therapist, who I had been working with for two years, decided to discontinue our sessions. She said she could not do it anymore. Again, I had put my trust in the wrong place.

I tell you all of this because I want to glorify what God has done in my life. Not to complain about all of the trials. You see, I was trying to do it on my own and it wasn't going very well at all. I am learning now to TRUST GOD. It is very rewarding. Things aren't perfect in my life by any means, but some things have changed for me.

First of all, God used my son's struggles to show me how precious life is. I no longer give in to the lies of the enemy that tell me otherwise. Also, I have given up trying to do it all myself. I can't make my son do the right thing. But I can trust God that He will be with my son. I pray for him now more than ever and put him in God's hands. I know that God has a plan for my son that is far better than mine.

Now I would like to share with you why I began writing this post. It is because God has done something in me that is so amazing!! He has healed me from childhood traumas that I have carried around for thirty years. I am totally healed! Praise be to God! I finally gave my burdens to Him and that was all I needed to do. He has taken my grief, my torments, my emptiness and filled me with His joy. He can do the same for you, my friend. Just ask.

John 15:9-17

2011-05-14T15:25:00.000-07:00

Jesus said to his disciples:
“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commandments
and remain in his love.

“I have told you this so that my joy might be in you
and your joy might be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
No one has greater love than this,
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
You are my friends if you do what I command you.
I no longer call you slaves,
because a slave does not know what his master is doing.
I have called you friends,
because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.
It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you
and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain,
so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.
This I command you: love one another.”

There are so many quotes from Mother Teresa on the topic of love. Once she said, "The fruit of faith is love, and the fruit of love is service." That is what I think of when I read this gospel. It is what Jesus tells us when he talks about laying down one's life for one's friends. The greatest commandment is to love one another. But we all know love is not just a feeling. It is an action as well. If you want to find out more about God's love I invite you to read Pope Benedict XVI's first encyclical "DEUS CARITAS EST".

Scripture Study

2011-05-14T15:06:00.000-07:00

The real reason I started this blog was to write about scripture and what I was getting from it. My study of scripture has not been the best lately but that is about to change. Beginning today I am going to start with the daily gospel readings from the Catholic Church and share my thoughts with you as well as the gospel reading itself. I pray that you will be just as blessed as I am and like the two on the road to Emmaus, we will say to one another, "Were not our hearts burning with us as he talked with us on the road and opened the scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:32)

Hello There...Again. :)

2011-05-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! Life has been so busy! A great many things have happened in the past several months and I wish I had taken the time to write about it here. I'll update you on just a few things.

My husband and I are still active in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal here in our hometown. We have be so BLESSED by this ministry. I volunteer as much as possible at their office. I am hoping to increase the time I do spend as a volunteer since I have some time to myself for the next several weeks. One of the best things I can do with my husband though is to go to the Friday night prayer group that meets almost weekly. We had so many problems getting there in the last couple of months, but we did make it last week and it was such a blessing! The friends we have made in the Renewal are unbelievable. I can't praise God enough for this gift!!

So, one big change in our family is that our sixteen year old son now lives with his father. It wasn't what I wanted to happen but I know God is in control, and it will all work together for good because in Romans 8:28 it says, "We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose."

We have been challenged to new levels of trust and faith with all of the tribulations we have managed to endure only through God's good grace in the past several months. The things that we have dealt with are the most heartbreaking of my life and I know I will never be the same. God has used those things to bring me to a place where I have total trust in Him. It is amazing!

I used to struggle with severe depression and anxiety. But after seeing someone else go through so much turmoil I realized how much I had not been putting my faith in God with my own illness. It hurt so bad to watch, but was very eye opening for me. I was in a hospital for a week just this past February because of my depression, then when the storm of my life hit and I had to watch someone I love struggle so much I was awakened to how much of my own pain I was carrying around. I was never meant to carry that pain, because Christ died so that he could be the burden bearer.

What a difference life is now. Some could say it is just the medication working or maybe the new therapist I have is better, but I know the truth. My medications were not changed, for one, and having a therapist is almost like paying someone to repeatedly make you cry for an hour. Believe me, they are good at that! I'm not sure why I'm even staying in therapy right now, in fact. Anyway, what I'm getting to is that I am amazed (when I really shouldn't be) at how God has used the suffering in my life to heal the wounds I thought would never even slightly disappear. Praise be to God!!!

A New Conversion

2010-08-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

It is with great joy that I share with you the news of a new conversion in both my husband and I! Recently we were asking, seeking and knocking and we received great blessings from our Lord just as it says in Matthew 7:7. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

God has led us into the Catholic Charismatic Renewal and we have received a new outpouring of His Holy Spirit! Praise be to God! I wish I could share with you the happiness that we have found and the joy that has filled our lives. If you would like to find out more about the renewal or what it means to be charismatic you can follow the links below and do a little research for yourself. May God richly and abundantly bless you!

Catholic Charismatic Renewal - National Service Committee
Holy Spirit Interactive: Catholic Charismatic Renewal
Columbus, Ohio Catholic Charismatic Renewal

My Conversion Story

2010-03-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered that I had "blogged" about my conversion into the Catholic Church long before I knew what blogging was about. My conversion story was posted online at Angelfire back in 2000. I wanted to share it with you so I am posting it here today. Enjoy!

"Be it done according to your will" ~Luke 1:38

June, 2000

Our family has decided to become Catholic. We haven't lost our minds, and we haven't lost our faith. Actually, we are still Christians who love God.

In fact, instead of losing anything, we have found that we have gained the "fullness" in our faith that Christ had intended for us to have. We have been called to follow closer to Him. It is something that we had hoped for, but never expected to find in the Catholic Church.

We never wanted to become Catholic. Of course, we held the popular misconceptions that are common in protestant denominations. We were convinced that it would only lead us to Hell. But after much research, and even more prompting from God, we have come to realize that "the whole truth and nothing but the truth" abides in the Roman Catholic Church. It is where we long to be. So we will attempt to explain this journey that God has been leading us on. The journey home.

We first became interested in the Catholic Church when Jim's brother married a devout Catholic. After he converted we decided to find out more about the church. I was searching for a new church home at the time and was studying the beliefs of different denominations. I was very discouraged to see hundreds of denominations, but could not find one that I felt was true to what the Bible taught. When I started studying Catholicism I was so intrigued with the teachings that seemed completely different from what I had always believed. The teachings did not seem to contradict the bible, but actually made since of many passages I had struggled with. There were some things that I could not understand intellectually, so instead of struggling with them I decided to run away from it all. I was afraid that if I believed in something that was not true, or not found in the bible, then God would be angry with me. So Jim and I decided to be Christians without a church home. Even though we didn't attend church regularly we were still interested in the Catholic Church and would go with his brother from time to time. We were being drawn to something we couldn't understand, and it was very frustrating. Eventually, in 1998, we decided to try RCIA to learn more. We attended a few sessions, but decided it wasn't for us. We still had too many obstacles to overcome. But by 1999 we were ready to give it another try. We only went to one session before we changed our minds again. At this time we were attending a local christian church and had become members there. We loved our church and were very active, but we were still being drawn to the Catholic Church. We had found so much truth there, even though we didn't understand everything. So we attended our christian church for about a year until sometime in May of 2000, when we finally decided that we had to become Catholic. Now that we have made this decision we are beginning a life-changing adventure. Let us share it with you.

Now that we have decided to become Catholic, we will need to start RCIA this fall. RCIA stands for Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. We will talk more about RCIA later. First we would like to share exactly what it was that led us to the Catholic Church. What truth have we found that would convince us to convert? First, I believe one has to deal with the issue of authority. What is our authority as Christians? Many people believe it is the bible. I would agree that the bible is the inspired word of God and should not be disregarded; however, scripture(1 Tim. 3:15) itself says, "The church is the pillar and foundation of the truth." Christ established His church and there are many scriptures that support the fact that our authority lies within it. The problem with most Christians is simply rebellion. As we began to see this within our lives we also realized that the bible(Hebrews 13:17) says "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." Who are we called to obey?
We definitely did not want to have to be obedient to a pope. After reading the history of the Catholic Church I felt that several popes were not even Christians, let alone the Vicar of Christ. But does my opinion make it true? Let's look at some scripture. First, in Matthew 23:2-3, we see that the Pharisees had divine authority that they "inherited" from Moses. Now we know that they were not perfect, but what are we told here. "The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat: All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not." That was made pretty clear. So how do we know that the pope then has authority? Again, there are several verses to support this in scripture. In Matthew 16:18-19 we find "And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." I have read every commentary available on this passage. The only one that makes sense is the one that states Peter was given authority here. When I asked my pastor what the binding and loosing meant in this verse he said, "They were given authority to forgive sins." I wondered then who has that authority today? Only one answer to that question. Even the fact that scripture is not our only authority is scriptural. In 2 Thessalonians 2:15 we read, "Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle." In fact we found so many verses that support the authority of the Church and the Pope that we could no longer be our own authority.

That was just the beginning of the truth that we found inside the Catholic Church. Although we didn't have the answers to all of our questions, we did realize that there is an authority who is responsible for leading us to the answers. I often thought of the verse in John 6 where Peter says to Christ, "Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life." Peter and the disciples didn't understand what Jesus was saying in this verse and when asked if they would also leave as everyone else had, Peter responded in faith. He knew that he didn't have to understand God to follow Him. That's exactly how we felt. So in attempt to better understand we read the catechism which had answers to our questions. It was amazing! We had just studied worship in our Sunday School Class and the catechism started answering questions that were brought up in class. It was there the whole time, but we weren't looking. I thank God every day now for the answers we have, and the faith that is so much stronger. We will start RCIA this fall and by next Easter we will be Catholic. During our RCIA experience we will journal our experience online so that others can see what it is like. Maybe we can share what we learn with those who also question what the Catholic Church teaches. God bless!

Wow! So much has happened in the past few months. I am glad to have time to update our site. We had decided to take a detour for a few months and return to our old church. Actualy, I thought that I would stay there forever. I have to admit that my husband did not want to do this, and it was my unhappiness that led him to follow me there. I can only say that if you are going to read a book about the catholic faith make sure it is a good book to read. I am not going to name the title of this book, but by the time I finished reading it I was scared out of my mind. I could not be Catholic! I don't know why I believed what I read, but I know that I am glad to know that what I read doesn't have anything to do with what the Church truly teaches. Whew!!

So now I am preparing to start RCIA three weeks late, and hopefully I can convince my dear hubby that I am sincere enough to stick with it. If so, he will join me. If not, then he will wait a year before taking RCIA himself. He doesn't want to start it again and have to stop. It makes you a little stupid after a while. LOL.

Anyway, I think I have everything straightened out now, and please keep us in your prayers. We need all the help that we can get. I look forward to keeping this up to date with our RCIA adventure. Check back next Monday (Oct.2) to see how the first week went. God bless!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 2, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our first night of RCIA was great! My husband and I are both glad that we are on the right track. Last night we talked about Scripture. We discussed the Catholic position on the interpretation of the Bible. There is a big difference between their position and the one we have always been taught, but not neccessarily believed. We were always told that everything in the bible is true and accurate. That there are no inerrancies, even when it comes to the science and historical facts.

When Jim began to study science in high school and in college he realized that science and biblical "facts" did not always jive. So he decided that if the Bible had mistakes, when he was told it didn't, then the whole thing was unbelievable. It was great to find that not everyone teaches that every part of the bible is always to be literally interpreted.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 9, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our second night of RCIA was great as well. Tonight we discussed Faith. We learn so much each week we go. It is hard to share it here because it seems to be more of a heart knowledge than a head knowledge. It all is just making sense in my heart now and not just my head. That is awesome! I had too many stumbling blocks before and thought I couldn't go to RCIA until I was sure I wanted to be Catholic. However, I now see that RCIA really helps you to understand it in a different perspective. Not everything you learn is going to be "knowledge".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 16, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well our next session of RCIA was just as great as the previous ones. Tonight we discussed the sacraments. I am so excited to know that I will receive the Eucharist at Easter. I used to wonder why I had to go through the year long process and think that I just could not wait. But Father Franks said something that really helped me to understand it. He said that when he is preparing people for marriage he likes to spend a year with them in preparation for the event. He explained that it means so much more to them when they go through that process. It makes the day so much more special. And that is how it is with our reception into the church. If we were just granted permission over a few weeks then it would not be as special to us. I think that is pretty neat. He also pointed out that in the early church the process of initiation took three years instead of one. I am grateful that I do not have to wait that long. Wow, this whole experience is really neat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 23, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonight we talked about baptism. We had a good time at RCIA. It seems we always pick up something new. It is nice just to be able to sit and talk with people. Everyone adds to the experience.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 30, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonight we had a family dinner at RCIA. Jimmy thought it was neat that he finally got to find out what RCIA was. He has been staying with his grandpa on Monday nights. We had fun talking with others and getting to know them a little better.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
November 6, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonight we talked about the Holy Spirit. We discussed the different symols that represent the Holy Spirit and what they mean to us. We talked about the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
November 13, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonight we discussed the Eucharist. Father Denis led the discussion and was in a very humorous mood. We laughed all night. I am very excited about receiving the Eucharist. I can hardly wait!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
November 20, 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We had a night of prayer tonight. Next Sunday will be our Rite of Acceptance so we spent the evening in prayer and contemplation. We rehearsed for the event, and also had time for fellowship. It was a neat time. I am glad that we are coming into a new phase of RCIA. From now on we will leave during each mass to discuss the readings and what they mean to us. I think this will be a very exciting time!

January 20, 2001
It has been a while since I have updated our pages here, so I'll let you know how things are going. We are continuing in the RCIA process, and have a few months left. Jim's mom is still going as well. Hopefully by this Easter we will all be members of the Catholic Church. I personally have struggled with some of the teachings of the church, but have overcome this recently with much prayer and strength from above. I want to share something I read concerning the Immaculate Conception that was written by Cardinal John Henry Newman. He is a convert to the Church as well as a great theologian.

"Now I wish it observed why I thus adduce the Fathers and Scripture. Not to prove the doctrine, but to rid it of any such monstrous improbability as would make a person scruple to accept it when the Church declares it. A Protestant is apt to say: "Oh, I really never, never can accept such a doctrine from the hands of the Church, and I had a thousand thousand times rather determine that the Church spoke falsely, than that so terrible a doctrine was true". Now, my good man, WHY? Do not go off in such a wonderful agitation, like a horse shying at he does not know what. Consider what I have said. It is, after all, certainly irrational? is it certainly against Scripture? is it certainly against the primitive Fathers? is it certainly idolatrous? I cannot help smiling as I put the questions. Rather, may not something be said for it from reason, from piety, from antiquity, from the inspired test? You may see no reason at all to believe the voice of the Church; you may not yet have attained to faith in it--but what on earth this doctrine has to do with shaking your faith in her, if you have faith, or in sending you to the right-about if you are beginning to think she may be from God, is more than my mind can comprehend. Many, many doctrines are far harder than the Immaculate Conception. The doctrine of Original Sin is indefinitely harder. Mary just has not had this difficulty. It is no difficulty to believe that a soul is united to the flesh without original sin; the great mystery is that any, that millions on millions, are born with it. Our teaching about Mary has just one difficulty less than our teaching about the state of mankind generally. I say it distinctly--there may be many excuses at the last day, good and bad, for not being Catholics; one I cannot conceive: "O Lord, the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception was so derogatory to Thy Grace, so inconsistent with Thy Passion, so at variance with Thy word in Genesis and the Apocalypse, so unlike the teaching of Thy first Saints and Martyrs, as to give me a right to reject it at all risks, and Thy Church for teaching it. It is a doctrine as to which my private judgment is fully justified in opposing the Church's judgment. And this is my plea for living and dying a Protestant".

This quote comes from a work by Newman entitled "Memorandum on the Immaculate Conception". I find it to be very helpful when I doubt things that the Church teaches, to read what great saints have to say about the topic. This quote certainly helped me to understand the Immaculate Conception, along with other things that Newman wrote.
Stay tuned for how things go at our next RCIA meeting Monday January 22, 2001. God bless!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 22, 2001
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonight Father Denis talked to us about the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We had a great time learning more about the grace of God and how wonderful this sacrament is. We can't wait to be able to experience it ourselves!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 29, 2001
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We learned more about the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick and about Pastoral Care. We discussed ethics, right to life, and also where the Church stands on these issues.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 12, 2001
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today we talked about purgatory. It wasn't what I expected. We were told that you don't have to believe in purgatory to be Catholic. I am too traditional to believe that. So now I am trying to remain calm and help others who are listening to this kind of teaching. God give me patience!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 19, 2001
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonight we listened to Fr. Denis explain how we form a consience. We had many interesting discussioins concering moral decisions that we each have to make.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 26, 2001
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonight we had a beautiful evening of prayer before our Rite of Election. The Rite is this Sunday, March 4. We are looking foward to the season of Lent as Easter is fast approaching.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
March 19, 2001
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have missed a few weeks here again. Time sure does fly right by. We have been having a wonderful Lenten season. Right now we are also busy starting a local prayer cenacle under the Eucharistic Apostles of The Divine Mercy in our parish. The devotion of The Divine Mercy has been very special to us and we look foward to spreading this devotion to everyone we meet. Tonight we talked about the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We will be making our first confession soon. God Bless!

We are finally home! My husband and I joined the Church on Saturday April 14, 2001. Our son was baptized the following Sunday, April 22, Divine Mercy Sunday. I want to thank so many people for making this Easter the best one yet. First I want to thank my brother and sister-n-law for all of the prayer and support that they gave to us during this time, and most of all for putting up with us during the times that we struggled. I want to thank my sponsor, my husband's sponsor, and my mother-n-law's sponsor, for coming to RCIA every week with us. These three women are all sisters and have been such a great witness of how loving all Christians should be. I want to thank the priests and religious at our parish. And also all of the sponsors and members of the parish praying for us. I also want to especially thank our God and Father, His son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. The most Blessed Trinity is to be praised for ever and ever! Also I feel that I should thank the Blessed Virgin Mary for her role in our conversion. And our gaurdian angels who stood by to protect us from all who wanted to see us fail. I thank all the angels and saints in Heaven for their constant intercession for the souls on earth...may we always seek to do God's Holy Will!

Praying Together

2010-03-23T13:06:00.001-07:00

Recently, after some much needed spiritual advice was given, I made some changes to my daily walk with God. I wanted to share them with you and extend an invitation to everyone to join me in these prayers. The first thing I added to my daily routine was a Morning Prayer taken each day from a magazine called Magnificat. On some days I go to Mass instead of the Morning Prayer. Next, I added Evening Prayer, also taken from Magnificat. I do this with my family now after dinner. It is great for all of us to spend time with God this way. The last thing I added was spiritual reading. I just got the book, "The Practice of The Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence. I plan on starting it tonight.

So, either grab yourself a Magnificat and pray these prayers with me every day or go ahead and start praying the Liturgy of the Hours. You can get the latter for free online at Universalis. God Bless You!

Wow

2010-02-18T10:32:00.000-08:00

It's been quite a while since I have written anything here. Guess I better think of some new things to talk about. Be patient, I'll have something up soon!

The Servant

2008-08-23T11:25:00.000-07:00

The greatest among you must be your servant.
Whoever exalts himself will be humbled;
but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

Taken from today's gospel reading (Matthew 23:1-12) this passage reminds me to spend more of my time being a servant to others. It's so easy for me to get caught up in an attitude of selfishness, wishing that someone else would clean that toilet for a change. Or think that maybe I don't need to do that load of laundry right now. And, really, I just did the dishes. Do I have to do them again already?

However, if my deep desire is to become closer to God then I need to find a way to change my heart and become more like Christ. I need to do all I do as if I'm doing it for God. I know it's not easy. But by reading scripture, studying, praying, and receiving the Sacraments it will become more attainable. Christ would not have asked this of me if it were impossible.

Post-Surgery

2008-08-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

Our son is at home and is doing well! His surgery seems to have been pretty successful, but we'll find out for sure once the cast is off and he starts moving around.

Today was a pretty rough day for the little guy. Unfortunately, the pain medication made him very sick. So now we are down to regular Tylenol, eeks. Please pray for a speedy recovery. Thanks!

2008-08-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

Outside my window...My son is out with the dog. It's sunny but so nice and cool today.

I am thinking...about my husband's illness and my son's upcoming surgery.

I am thankful for...family and friends, but most of all the family who are friends.

From the kitchen...roast beef with mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner.

I am wearing...a purple t-shirt with denim capris.

I am creating...a cleaner house for guests this week.

I am going...to do lots of laundry today. Yipee!

I am reading...Mary of Nazareth by Federico Suarez.

I am hoping...that textbooks arrive today. I'd really like to get some planning done.

I am hearing...HGTV.

Around the house...the dog is laying around and my son is playing guitar hero.

One of my favorite things...hugs!

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...First Aid training class, my son's surgery, and my sister is coming to visit and help with my son at the end of the week.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...My two sisters and me when we were camping. I'm on the right.

Need a Rosary?

2008-08-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

Try learning to make them through Our Lady's Rosary Makers or just let me know and I'll make you one at my cost. I only make wire rosaries for now, but soon I'll be learning the knotted ones as well.

Check this site for how to say your rosary!

For Today

2008-08-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

From A Simple Woman's Daybook carnival.

Outside my window...It's a little cooler after today's rain. The breeze feels great.

I am thinking...about the weather at camp. I hope they are having cool temps.

I am thankful for...the closeness of my family.

From the kitchen...three cheese garlic chicken with garlic bread for dinner.

I am wearing...a t-shirt and denim capris.

I am creating...I just finished this rosary.

I am going...to take a walk with my husband later this evening.

I am reading...Mary of Nazareth by Federico Suarez.

I am hoping...my son is having a good time at camp. I miss him so much.

I am hearing...EWTN.

Around the house...the puppy is playing with her squeaky ball.

One of my favorite things...reading blogs.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...go to daily mass, and pick up my son from camp on Friday. Not much planned, really. It would be nice to get some books in the mail.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...
My son last year in Kentucky. It was a fun trip for us all. Miss you, Christi!

Summer Camp

2008-08-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

I picked up my son today. He's finally done with all the summer visitation. Yippee!

Now I just have to send him off to summer camp on Sunday. Unfortunately, he'll be gone for six days. I'm sure he'll have a blast, but boy are we gonna miss him. I've spent a lot of time today starting to pack for him. Tomorrow we'll finish it off. FYI: The picture on the left is one from camp two years ago.

Kolbe It Is

2008-07-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

This year we will be using Kolbe Academy for our eighth grade son. I am excited to get started, though there will be a bit of a setback. Our son is having surgery to straighten his leg on August 14th. Thus, our start date will depend on his recovery. Please pray for him!

Thanks to +JMJ+

2008-07-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

At Totus Tuus Family & Catholic Homeschoolfor the link to The Cutest Blog on the Block. I found some really cute backgrounds at this site - check it out!

For Today

2008-07-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

From A Simple Woman's Daybook carnival.

Outside my window...the sun is going down.

I am thinking...that being a parent is hard work.

I am thankful for...a wonderful, wise husband and a fiesty, moody thirteen year old son.

From the kitchen...tacos were for dinner.

I am wearing...a pink t-shirt with denim capris. no shoes!

I am creating...headaches for my son.

I am going...to give him tylenol.

I am reading...Mary of Nazareth by Federico Suarez.

I am hoping...the tylenol works.

I am hearing...TLC and the clicking of keyboards.

Around the house...the dog is napping, my son is stiiiiiiiilllll gone.

One of my favorite things...is a peaceful household.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...orientation for a new job on Wednesday, that's about it.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...Last Summer's Vacation at Virginia Beach. We had a blast!

Mosaic Meme

2008-07-22T16:39:00.000-07:00

click mosaic to see larger

The Questions (and The Answers):

1. What is your first name? Rhonda
2. What is your favorite food? Chicken Parmigiana
3. What high school did you go to? Ohio County High
4. What is your favorite color? Green
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Jesus - because I don't do the celebrity thing
6. Favorite drink? Dr. Pepper
7. Dream vacation? Hawaii
8. Favorite dessert? Chocolate cake
9. What you want to be when you grow up? To be more like Mary
10. What do you love most in life? God
11. One Word to describe you? Mom
12. One hobby of yours? Making rosaries

So...now it's your turn. I hope, like me, you learn how to do new things and enjoy your creation.

Here's how: a. Type your answer to each of the questions above into Flickr Search. b. Using only the first page, pick an image. c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker. d. Save image to hard drive and post to blogger. e. Copy HTML code for flickr photo credits and paste into blogger at the bottom of the post.

Please let me know if you play along! I'd love to see your mosaic!

Credits:
1. How Am I Feeling?, 2. Chicken Parmigiana, 3. 2002 No Creek School, 4. Green Womble House, 5. JESUS, 6. Drink Dr. Pepper!, 7. The Spirit That She Called To Start What Can't Be Found, 8. coffee and chocolate mousse cake, 9. Holy Mother of God, 10. From above..., 11. بــحـط قــلـبـي بــيـن يــديـنـك هــديـه, 12. Private Prayer

For Today

2008-07-21T10:01:00.001-07:00

Outside my window...the grass is being mowed, the sun is shining, and the flowerbed needs some attention. I need to get out there soon.

I am thinking...that I miss my son. He's at his grandparent's house for a week..then a week a his father's....then summer camp. I don't see him much during the summer. :(

I am thankful for...time spent with those that I love.

From the kitchen...pb&j for lunch and garlic chicken for dinner.

I am wearing...a perwinkle t-shirt with black cotton capris.

I am creating...clean clothes from the washing machine. Isn't that creative of me? Lol.

I am going...to go crazy because I am so bored. Most people have too much to do. Not me, no, I'm bored outta my mind. I wish I had more kids to keep me busy. Even this new dog wants to just lay around now...leaving me with nothing to do.

I am reading...Mary of Nazareth by Federico Suarez.

I am hoping...that my husband feels better soon.

I am hearing...the military channel, again.

Around the house...my husband is home sick. He's had some sort of stomach virus since last Thursday, poor thing!

One of my favorite things...is not the military channel. It's EWTN. We finally got our cable upgraded last week so now I can watch EWTN. Yippee.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...I get to be with my son this Wednesday for his pre-surgery appointment with the doctor. I'll have him most of the day before I drive him back to Grandma's house. There's also an interview on Friday for a part-time job with the city's latchkey program. Other than that I plan on being pretty bored. Any ideas?

Here is picture thought I am sharing...
My neice at the zoo two weeks ago. This was the funniest part of the trip. We laughed about it all day long. At one point there were at least two birds on her head.

Introducing Ashley

2008-07-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

This sweet little girl has been keeping me busy! We picked her up on Monday from CAHS. Ashley seems to be housebroken already, thank goodness. She's your typical dog. She loves to take walks, naps all day long, and chews up all her toys. Strangest thing - we haven't even heard her bark yet!

For Today

2008-07-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...the sun is shining, finally. The flowers did enjoy the rain though. The mums are starting to bloom.

I am thinking...about my husband. He isn't feeling well and is going to the doctor tomorrow. I want him to go to Urgent Care but he refuses. Men.

I am thankful for...my family.

From the kitchen...it's awfully quiet in there. But it's also nice and clean.

I am wearing...a gray t-shirt and jean capris.

I am creating...summer-time memories.

I am going...to take my time on the computer so the kids can find something else to do.

I am reading...Mary of Nazareth by Federico Suarez.

I am hoping...to get a puppy soon.

I am hearing...my neices playing with my son. It's nice to have more kids around.

Around the house...the electronics are buzzing. The air conditioner keeps on running. At least it is nice and cool inside.

One of my favorite things...is chocolate.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...take the kids to the zoo; let the girls swim in the pool - probably an every day event; do some craft projects; take a weekend trip to kentucky to return the girls.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...my neices, who are visiting for the week, with my son about two years ago. They are so adorable!

For Today

2008-06-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...it's still raining. Still.

I am thinking...about Pandora, an online music station my son introduced me to. Deep, huh?

I am thankful for...my husabnd. He works hard every day and comes home to help out wherever I need it. He is the most generous person I know.

From the kitchen...hamburgers and fries are waiting to be prepared for dinner.

I am wearing...an Ohio University t-shirt, grey cotton capris, and Land's End sandals. Yep, I really like these sandals.

I am creating...a rosary for a friend.

I am going...to clean out the pool this evening if it ever stops raining. If not, I'll do it in the morning.

I am reading...Mary of Nazareth by Federico Suarez.

I am hoping...that cats go to heaven. We lost our beloved "Princess" yesterday.

I am hearing...Cake Bake Betty, a new artist I've discovered.

Around the house...my son is on the computer. My husband is watching TV. We are a lively bunch right now.

One of my favorite things...is birthday cake. Yummy.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...I really, really need to go grocery shopping. I keep putting it off. That's as far as I've gotten with my plans. I tend to just wing it. I know I'll definitely enjoy some time with my son.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...We'll miss you Princess

For Today - June 23, 2008

2008-06-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...I noticed the bird's need more seed in the feeder. St. Francis doesn't look to happy about that.

I am thinking...about doing laundry and cleaning the house.

I am thankful for...iced tea. I couldn't cut soda out of my diet without it.

From the kitchen...I can smell the shrimp stir-fry I made for lunch.

I am wearing...black capris, a green shirt, and new Land's End sandals. :) I love new shoes!

I am creating...a lifetime of memories with my son this summer.

I am going...to the grocery store later. I still haven't figured out what to make for dinner.

I am reading...A Mother's Rule of Life - still. I've got a chapter left. Next up is The Catholic Homeschool Companion.

I am hoping...I can make Mass a daily routine.

I am hearing...the frustration of a WOW player...and the lawnmower.

Around the house...my son is playing WOW. Hubby is home for luch, but is taking a little nap. Hmm, sounds like he just woke up.

One of my favorite things...is the smell of freshly laundered sheets.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...find a Wii. Ugh. Where am I going to find one of those? But at least my son saved up the money to buy one for himself. Yipee!

Here is picture thought I am sharing...what a Homeschool Graduation looks like.

Homeschooling Doubts

2008-06-22T16:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sure anyone new to homeschooling has their doubts. It seems like I'm having quite a few these days. Doubts and fears keep running through my mind. Can I really be successful at this? We've never homeschooled for a whole year, am I gonna be able to this time? He's an only child, what if he doesn't find a friend to play with? How well will I have prepared him for highschool? I'm just gonna put him in a Catholic highschool next year, so what is the point?

See what I mean? Do all soon-to-be homeschoolers do this to themselves or am I just worrying waaaaay too much? Some days, like today, my mind keeps spinning. Other days I can't wait to get started. On those days I can imagine how wonderful it will be once we get the new books, make out a schedule, and dive right in!

I feel like a big bipolar mess. Maybe that's the whole problem to begin with. I am bipolar. And today I forgot...until really late in the day...to take my medication. That adds a whole new deminsion to this doesn't it?

You see, last year we were homeschooling just fine even though I was a pitiful mess. I was seeing a therapist every single day for a few months at one point. It was this therapist who was thouroughly appalled when I told her that I was homeschooling. Maybe she thought I wasn't capable, or maybe she just was being a normal social worker, I don't know. At any rate she told me how my son needed that interaction with other children. She was convinced he needed, at his age, to become his own person - seperate from me.

Was she right? Do teens need to be away from their parents a better portion of the day to become their own person? That's a wild suggestion. Maybe this lady just didn't think he should be around me. Because I'm bipolar. That is the part I struggle with.

Because of this I question my abilities. Can I get myself out of bed on the days when I am utterly depressed? What will my son think if I am in bed all day? And what will he do when I feel like I need to do fifty things at once becuase I am slightly manic that day? Am I really someone he should be with?

In these moments of doubt, when I am at my weakest, I feel the strenghth of God urging me onward. Somehow, I know I will get through it. Not by my own strenghth, but by His. And on those days that I struggle I can be assured that my son will hug me even more, ask what he can do to help, and realize that suffering has it's place in every heart.

2008-06-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

From The Simple Woman’s Daybook:

FOR TODAY - June 16, 2008

Outside My Window...the trees are bending in the breeze. The full moon lights up the night.

I am thinking...about my son's surgery this summer.

I am thankful for...my family. God has blessed me!

From the kitchen...I can hear the fridge calling my name. Resistance is futile.

I am wearing...black jeans with a grey t-shirt. Real flashy.

I am creating...this blog and that's just about it.

I am going...to turn off the TV. I hate late night shows.

I am reading...A Mother's Rule of Life. I just finished the first chapter today. I can tell I have a lot of work ahead of me!

I am hoping...I can get myself up early every morning and get to Mass. It's a new mid-year resolution.

I am hearing...the click, click, click of keyboards.

Around the house...my husband is playing WOW. I'm doing this. We are the only ones here. I miss my son!

One of my favorite things...is cuddling with my son on the couch. I love how at thirteen he can still do that.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...tweak, or should I say revamp, my prayer life. Start working on other ways to implement what I'm reading in A Mother's Rule of Life.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...my dear boy a few years ago.

Baby Got Book?!

2008-06-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

This is sooooo funny. Especially if you grew up in the 80's. For some reason I can't get the video to load on my blog, so you'll have to click the link.

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1792183

The Catechism Saves The Day

2008-06-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

Since I just posted about reading the Catechism, I wanted to share why I believe it is such a great resource. Back in 1999 I was attending a Non-Denominational Christian Church and was involved in an adult Sunday School class. We did a lot of scripture studying and tried our best to understand it's meaning in our daily lives. Secretly I was studying the Catechism.

I had been learning about Catholicism and was just about to start RCIA when I discovered the Catechism. I felt like I had found a pot of gold! What a treasure! You see, in those classes we often brought up a lot of questions. We'd read a certain passage and ask each other, "What does that mean to you?"

Once I had the Catechism I had all the answers. I studied it every day and would go back to class with all these answers memorized. People were amazed that I figured certain passages out. It was hilarious to give all of these "Catholic" answers to a group of Anti-Catholics. And, yes, they were very Anti-Catholic.

In fact, all of my close friends were in that class and disappeared overnight when I told them I was becoming Catholic. It was a sad time for me, but I was still ecstatic that things were at least making sense theologically. I would gladly do it over again too. The truth that is found within the Catholic Church is far too great of a gift. For me the Catechism was the way to open that gift.

The Sixth Commandment

2008-06-13T19:39:00.000-07:00

In today's gospel reading Jesus says to his disciples: “You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

I'm sure this seems a bit harsh to most people today. Understanding lust and the dignity of the human person isn't taught at school, and probably not taught by most parents either. It isn't easily understood. So where can a person turn? The Catechism of the Catholic Church!

Starting with number 2331 and going through 2400 you can read all about the sixth commandment. Here's a link: http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm

In the Catechism lust is listed as an offense against charity. It is defined as "a disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes."

I'd love to be able to explain it all myself. I'm just not capable of doing it justice. So find your Cathechism, or read it online, and do a little learning. I promise you won't regret it!

Homeschooling

2008-06-11T18:33:00.000-07:00

So, here we are - again. Ready to take on a new challenge. It's really not so new because we have homeschooled in the past. Unfortunately, we had decided to give up on the whole homeschooling adventure this past school year and sent our dear son off to a local public school for most of the seventh grade. What were we thinking?

It wasn't so bad at first. Our son really enjoyed being with other kids (he's an only child) and was being challenged academically as well. Little by little things started to change. His faith was being tested. Our closeness as a family was fading. I discovered things along the way that made me doubt our decision. By the end of the year my husband and I both were ready to pull our hair out.

So now I'm looking through curriculum, reading everything about homeschooling I can find, and praying we can do this. Hmmm...maybe I worry too much.

Prove It!

2008-05-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

I saw "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" this afternoon and loved it. I won't say too much about it because I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone. I will say that my favorite line was when Lucy told her brother, "Maybe we are the ones who need to prove ourselves to him."

It brought tears to my eyes thinking about how much I've failed to do this for God. I tend to wish God would prove He loves me by rescuing me from this or that. But maybe it's time to turn the tables and start doing some things to prove myself worthy to be called His daughter. I know I can never do enough to return the love He has shown me. Giving me His Son - wow. How can I repay that? It's impossible.

So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to start praying more, studying His Word more, and sharing His love with all those I meet. No, I'm not going to stand on the corner with my Bible. I'm going to do as St. Francis advised, "Preach at all times. When necessary use words."

Remember His Mercy!

2008-03-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Fr. John Durbin for reminding me in his video reflection today to remember the Mercy of God!

No matter what we do, no matter how far we stray, God loves us. His love for us and his mercy should encourage us to always return to him. If we are afraid to come closer to God then we are missing the big picture. God may be a Just Judge but first and foremost He is a God of Mercy.

Even though Jesus knew Judas would betray him, he still loved Judas. He ate with him at the last supper and even washed his feet. The love and mercy shown to Judas the Betrayer extends to each and every one of us. We have all betrayed our Lord at some point. Let us all remember His Mercy and in thanksgiving, rejoice!

To view the video click below:
http://www.atlanticvideo.com/clients/ccom/

"I'm going to change the world by loving on people."

2007-12-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

St. Lucy
Today is the feast day of St. Lucy, whose name means "light". She was persecuted for her faith during the fourth century and eventually tortured and killed by Diocletian. Born around the year 283 to rich and noble parents, Lucy had consecrated herself to God and hoped to give all of her wordly possesions to the poor. Her father died while she was young leaving her to convince her mother to give away their riches to the poor. Her mother gave in occasionally and eventually made a pilgrimage with Lucy to the tomb of St. Agatha. It was there that her mother, Eutychia, was cured from a hemmorage she had suffered from for several years. Finally, Eutychia agreed to give away a great part of their goods.

As legend has it, Lucy had been betrothed unwillingly to a young man who became greedy and in turn denounced her to the govenor of Sicily in the year 303. She was punished to suffer prostitution but miraculously could not be budged. Then she was set on fire and once again saved by God. After a sword was thrust through her throat Lucy became a martyr for her Lord.

Recent Martyrs

When reading about martyrs I'm often grateful that we are not so persecuted for our faith here in the United States. However, recent events have caused me to realize that this type of persecution still exists and sadly people are even killed. Over the past weekend four people were shot and killed in Colorado Springs at Youth With A Mission. Twelve hours later the shooter moved on to shoot five more, killing one, at New Life Church.

One of those victims who died, Tiffany Johnson, reminds me of St. Lucy. She was a missionary and made it her job to love others the way Christ loves us all. The light of God clearly shone in this woman's life.

At the age of 26, Tiffany had been working as a missionary for three years and had traveled to Egypt and Africa. She was a dedicated aunt and wanted to some day have a family of her own. Her personal motto was: "I'm going to change the world by loving on people."

Through both the examples of St. Lucy and Tiffany Johnson may we all become a light into our darkened world. May we love each other more and give all the we have! Let us give ourselves to the service of others and God.

Prayer to St. Lucy

Saint Lucy, you did not hide your light under a basket, but let it shine for the whole world, for all the centuries to see. We may not suffer torture in our lives the way you did, but we are still called to let the light of our Christianity illumine our daily lives. Please help us to have the courage to bring our Christianity into our work, our recreation, our relationships, our conversation -- every corner of our day. Amen

sources:
http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=75
http://www.startribune.com/local/12388376.html

Our Lady of Guadalupe - Patroness of the Americas and Protector of the Unborn

2007-12-11T19:54:00.000-08:00

Revelation 12:1-6a
A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She was with child and wailed aloud in pain as she labored to give birth. Then another sign appeared in the sky; it was a huge red dragon, with seven heads and ten horns, and on its heads were seven diadems. Its tail swept away a third of the stars in the sky and hurled them down to the earth. Then the dragon stood before the woman about to give birth, to devour her child when she gave birth. She gave birth to a son, a male child, destined to rule all the nations with an iron rod. Her child was caught up to God and his throne. The woman herself fled into the desert where she had a place prepared by God.

The Appearance of Guadalupe (http://www.mexconnect.com/mex_/travel/blyons/blguadalupe1.html)
In 1531, a scant ten years after the fall of the Aztec nation, a humble Indian named Juan Diego was walking over the hills just north of Mexico City (built on the razed Azctec capital of Tenochtitlan). Land there is dry and rocky, favouring only cactus and lizards under a blistering sun. He passed by the hill of Tepeyac, once the site of the temple to Tonanzin, the gentle goddess of earth and corn, whose name means "our mother". The conquering Spaniards had destroyed this and most of the other sacred places of the indigenous people, forbidding them to pray to their protecting spirits. They were spiritual orphans, then, not yet embracing, as foster-mother, the Catholic church. They had to hide small idols and talismans, to worship and pray in secret.

As he passed this once-revered place, he stopped and stood still, disbelieving the heavenly fragrance and celestial music which surrounded the spot. Before him shone a radiance, like a glowing cloud surrounded by rainbows. Then the blessed Mother Mary emerged, robed in blue and gold and rose. She calmed his fears, calling him "little son," and urging him to return to the city and request the bishop to build a shrine to her, on the very place of the fallen goddess.
Of course the bishop did not believe the peasant and sent him on his way. Ashamed that he had failed her bidding, he avoided the spot, passing the next day on the other side of the hill. But she was not to be denied. She found him and urged him once again. It was not until the third time she appeared to him, that she sent proof of this miracle. She told Juan Diego to pick the Castillian roses, impossible to exist in that climate, but growing in abundance on that place. He gathered them in his tilma, a rectangle of muslin worn as a cape. She told him not to put them down until he was in the presence of the church dignitary. When he did this, in the cathedral of Tlatelolco, they saw that the front of his tilma was emblazoned with the image of the Virgin of Guadalupe and the miraculous blossoms lay at her feet.

The Dark Madonna was immediately embraced by the indigenous people, and other miracles quickly followed, in which floods and pestilence were overcome and the personal prayers and needs of her many believers were answered. The symbols of her miraculous presence are the Castillian roses found in the desert and Juan Diego's tilma bearing her image.

Prayer to Our Lady of Guadalupe
Our Lady of Guadalupe, mystical rose, intercede for the Church, protect the Holy Father, help all who invoke you in their necessities. Since you are the ever Virgin Mary and Mother of the true God, obtain for us from your most holy Son the Grace of a firm faith and sure hope amid the bitterness of life, as well as an ardent love and the precious gift of final perseverance. Amen.

The Beauty of Darkness

2007-10-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

Oh, one of my favorite readings! In Paul's letter to the Romans today we read about God the Creator. I used to always view this passage (v. 18 - 22) as the perfect rebuttal to those who don't believe in God; especially those who view science as a contradiction to faith:

For what can be known about God is evident to them, because God made it evident to them. Ever since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made. As a result, they have no excuse; for although they knew God they did not accord him glory as God or give him thanks. Instead, they became vain in their reasoning, and their senseless minds were darkened. While claiming to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for the likeness of an image of mortal manor of birds or of four-legged animals or of snakes.

However, today I'm seeing it as much more. As I read on (v. 24-25) it becomes something even dearer to my heart:

Therefore, God handed them over to impurity through the lusts of their hearts for the mutual degradation of their bodies. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and revered and worshiped the creature rather than the creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

That brings me to the topic of abortion. I've often wondered how people can be so convicted in protecting the rights of animals and yet not acknowledge the sacredness of human life. Recently, I received an email from a relative informing me of the atrociousness of Canada's new "sport" of seal killing. Apparantly it's also a tourist attraction in Norway. Attached were graphic pictures of seals being beaten and other animals being abused. The pictures were horrible and my heart was troubled. Still, how can anyone feel more empathy for a seal than for an unborn child? I just don't get it.

My, how we have indeed exchanged a truth for a lie when we accept modern "birth control" methods. By these methods we are inticed to worship our own selves rather than God, our creator. We not only deny God, but we deny his creation. It is not a surprise that God hands us over to our own sin and depravity. How can we live in His light when we insist on the beauty of our own darkness?

Perfect Prayer, Perfect Gift, & My Not-So-Perfect Trust

2007-10-10T23:41:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

Yesterday's gospel gave us the perfect prayer, the Our Father. I wish I had more time to delve deeper into that passage. At least I do think I'm finally starting to see why it's called the "Our Father".

First of all, when we pray this prayer we ask for God's will to be done. Yes, we can ask for so many things that we just absolutely know we need. I'm not speaking of trivial things, but those important matters that are heavy on our hearts. God wants us to ask, as we will later see, because He wants to give us good gifts. However, only our Father knows what is best for us, right? As parents we should be keenly aware of this.

Next, we ask for our daily needs. This requires our trust in God. God will give us what we need each day, and as holy scripture says, we shouldn't be concerned with more than that. One day has enough problems of it's own. I'm going to have to remind myself throughout each day to remember this point.

In today's reading, which follows below, we see that God is more capable than any other father of giving good gifts. After all, even the most evil men give good gifts to their children. Why would we expect any less? We should expect much more! I know I certainly need to develop more trust in God in this area. How many times have I prayed for something, but "just to be sure" I try to fix it on my own? I seem to need a back-up plan. That just ain't right!

So, how do these two things fit together? Trusting God will give us what we ask for, but knowing what we ask for isn't always in His will? I've been looking for this answer for a long time now. Maybe the answer is in the gift, the perfect gift, that Jesus speaks of - the Holy Spirit. We are assured of receiving all that we need from God in today's passage. We are given the Holy Spirit and I don't know how I could ask for anything more.

Gospel
Lk 11:5-13

Jesus said to his disciples:“Suppose one of you has a friend to whom he goes at midnight and says,‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, for a friend of mine has arrived at my house from a journey and I have nothing to offer him,’ and he says in reply from within,‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked and my children and I are already in bed. I cannot get up to give you anything.’ I tell you, if he does not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence."

And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives;and the one who seeks, finds;and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

You Can't Win God's Love!

2007-10-09T15:30:00.000-07:00

In today's gospel we read the story of Martha and Mary. Although at first glance we may feel that Martha is doing the greater deed by serving, Jesus doesn't seem to agree. I have been guilty of Martha's line of thought myself.

The more I do, the more I serve, the greater I am, right? Haha. You can't win God's love by doing good deeds. But you can sit down, relax, and dwell in His love. In doing this we can better serve. Besides, the service shouldn't be done so that others will love us. You can't win anyone's love that way.

But for me to understand that isn't easy. I go through each day seeking to make others happy. Do this, do that...maybe, just maybe.....I should rest.

As G.K. Chesterton said in Orthodoxy, "It is the happy man who does the useless things..".

Lk 10:38-42
Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said,“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply,“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

Wedding Video

2007-08-20T18:51:00.002-07:00

My Montage 8/20/07

Consuming Fire

2007-08-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

Here's something I wrote back in 1999.

This Little Girl

This little girl was beaten down
This little girl was torn
This little girl was tossed around
This little girl was worn

'Til someone told her about Jesus one day
Someone showed her his love
She got down on her knees to pray
And opened the skies above

She prayed
Consuming fire breath on me
With flames so bright that all may see
The wonder of your love
The glory and power of God above
Your love consumes me like a blazing fire
To know you more is my desire

Fire of love consume me
Fire of God refine me
Fire of truth persuade me
Fire of peace contain me

This little girl was lifted up
This little girl was reborn
This little girl was led to sup
This little girl was restored

Now I think about my Jesus everyday
I thank him for his love
I get down on my knees to pray
And open the heavens above

I pray
Consuming fire breath on me
With flames so bright all may see
The wonder of your love
The glory and power of God above
Your word consumes me like a blazing fire
To love you more is my desire

Fire of love consume me
Fire of God refine me
Fire of truth persuade me
Fire of peace contain me